Story Time: Second Chances

It'd been two months since they'd seen each other and if she were honest with herself, she would admit that she was terrified. She had no idea if coming here was a good idea or some burst of insanity on her part. When they had parted last, she had been so lost and confused. His words had spoken one thing and his actions another. For the past months, she had held tight onto the memories of his actions. In her head, she had relived the first time they had kissed, the first time they had made love.  Now, she would find out if he felt the same way about her as she did about him.

Stepping off of the airplane, she paused and took a deep breath. She still needed to make her way out of the terminal and down to baggage claim where they would be meeting, but she needed this time to compose herself. On the outside, she looked confidant. There was a way about her that made people smile. She had this way of talking to people that made them each feel as if no matter what was happening, somehow everything would be ok. What few people knew, especially in this moment, was that on the inside, she was the same terrified little girl whose parents had rejected her.

She had made this entire trip terrified that they would come together again and the magic would no longer be there. She was terrified that she had imagined the look in his eyes when he looked at her. It didn't matter what other people had told her. It didn't matter that people had told her that he glowed when he saw her or that his eyes were shining and so full of love for her. Things had been different since that trip and she was scared.  

She sighed softly, reminding herself that he had asked her to come see him. Surely that must be a sign that he wanted her. With a slight frown, the one he would know immediately meant she was over thinking something, she picked up her bag and crossed the terminal. There was only one way she was going to know the answers and standing at a gate, twitching in her shoes wasn't the way.

He waited at the baggage claim, his eyes scanning the crowds of people coming down the escalators. He knew her flight had landed and that soon she would be standing there in front of him. Like her, he had spent the past couple of months reliving their previous time together. It had been like nothing either of them had either experienced before and he had allowed his fears to stand in the way of it becoming anything more than that one weekend. He had pulled back and he knew she felt it. If she were nothing else, she was always honest with him and that included how she was feeling. He knew that he had hurt her and for that, he was deeply sorrowed. He loved her and to know that he had caused her pain was almost too much for him to bear.

Now, there she was. He saw her at the top of the escalator and could hear in his head, her muttered whisper of 1..2...3. She hated down escalators and would do that every single time she had to step onto one. He never told her that he thought it was cute. He had never told her a lot of things, like how the first time they'd stepped onto an escalator together, he'd known how much she trusted him because she never let go of his hand.  She had shown him in so many unspoken ways just how much she loved and trusted him. He had been in awe of the connection that they had felt and he felt the tug of it now as she made her way down towards where he was standing.

She saw him there. She saw him standing there, watching her and she felt it too. She felt the need to run into his arms and to beg him to love her. She did neither though. She stood on the escalator, watching him slowly come closer and closer as it made its way down. When it reached the bottom she stepped off and slowly walked towards him.

They were two people who could talk themselves out of anything, even love. Yet, somehow, here they were, together again. There was the briefest of hesitations as they stood facing each other. Then, it was just like the first time all over again. She moved into his arms and he held her close. His lips pressed softly to her forehead and then moved down to cling to hers. It was if they were reliving those first moments together all over again.

Her hands slid up his arms to rest on his shoulders as two pairs of soft lips found each other over and over again. The world faded away until the only things left were two people who had tried hard to ignore the feelings that they created within one another.  They were two people who had been so hurt by life and yet when they came together, it was as if there were no past, only the present and the future.

Stepping back, she looked at him. Her big brown eyes looked deep into his, as if trying to reach his very soul. He knew, without asking, what was going on inside her mind. He knew that this time, there would be no turning back. If he wanted this woman, he would have to show her without a doubt. Reaching for her hands, he pulled her close to him again, hugging her tight. He loved her there, snuggled close in his arms and it was in that moment..that one singular, clarifying moment..that he knew. He knew that no matter the obstacles or the challenges, this was the woman that he wanted to share his life with. This beautiful soul was the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life waking up next to. Even when things looked the bleakest, she had stood by him. She had held his hand through all of the hurts and the dramas. She had been his best friend and his lover.  She had opened up her heart and her life to him even though he hadn't always done the same for her. She never held herself back from him, even when he knew he had hurt her. This time, no matter what happened, he wasn't going to let her go.

Stay Tuned...

I'm going through some files tonight and came across some older stories. Some are very sexy and some are sad and some are even sweet. I hope that you enjoy them as I get them posted. I'm not quite sure how many there are yet but I'll be adding them up here as I come across them. I'm also discovering a bunch that are in progress and there's a good chance that I might be wrapping up some of them soon. So, stay tuned and hopefully we'll be having some new yummies for you here soon...and maybe some actual serious pieces..You just never know now, do you?

Story Time: Chances

Sometimes life has a funny way of giving you just what you need just when you need it, even if you're too caught up with the day to day to even realize that it's been missing. These were the thoughts on my mind as I slipped between the warm sheets on a cold winter's night. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed not only the intimacy but the excitement of finding a person that you connect with and the way that your body instinctively reacts. We hadn't known each other long yet on some level we seemed to recognize each other.  There was something there and it was something that neither of us seemed willing to ignore.  We had spent hours together, both ignoring our individual responsibilities, so that we could talk and explore things further. Now, night had come and it was just me alone in bed with my thoughts.

It didn't take long for my thoughts to turn to that first sweet kiss that we had shared. It was teasing. It was light, but it spoke of the possibility and promise of so much more. It was that promise that had my hands sliding slowly over my warm skin. I couldn't help but wonder if it would feel as natural as things did now. Somehow, I felt it would. There was something there, something just waiting to be discovered and not only enjoyed, but appreciated.

It was on that thought that my eyes slid closed, not to sleep but to enjoy the fantasy..the fantasy of him, the fantasy of us. I wondered if he knew how already he affected me, how I had been on edge multiple times that day with a desire to reach out and touch him and to have him touch me.  It would start with soft little caresses, the kind that those exploring boundaries would share; a brush of the hand against a thigh or fingers against the chest. When those weren't put off, it would advance to more bold moves..my hand resting on his thigh, him playing with my fingers, both of us knowing what we wanted, but willing to enjoy the dance.

Already, just thinking about this, my breathing deepened and my hands started a slow exploration of my body, slowly caressing it, my fingers becoming more bold as I imagined his would. Perhaps time would be lost to us as we moved from one stage to the next, eagerly learning each other's bodies as well as our desires.

There is something magical about that first time with another person, with the right person. Just thinking about it, I could feel that magic coursing through my veins as my hands slid first over my chest, pausing to tease and to torment before sliding down over my soft skin. I whimpered, the sound loud in the otherwise silent room. I never heard it. I was too caught up. With one hand, I teased and tormented while with the other I soothed and caressed. It was a dangerous game. Too much too fast and it would be over before it started, but I knew my body well. I knew how to take myself higher and higher without setting myself over the edge.

What was it about him that already drove me to places that I very rarely went? Why was I prepared to open my very heart and soul to someone that had just become a part of my life? Honestly, for once in my life, I didn't care. I only cared that he made me laugh and made me smile. He made me feel beautiful and desirable and now, here I was..his name crossing my parted lips as I drove myself ever closer to that elusive edge.

My whimpers had changed to quiet moans as my body trembled beneath the onslaught of my own fingers. I refused to allow myself to touch the one part of me that desperately wanted it the most. I wanted to stay within the fantasy, to live those first moments for as long as I could. In my own mind, I could see his face, watch his eyes as he parted my thighs and slid between them.  It was that amazing moment when two people join together and for that single moment, the world stops.

In reality, it was my own soft, eager fingers that spread my desire dampened lips and slipped inside, moving in such a way that though I was alone, I instinctively bit down on my lip to quiet the sounds that were escaping. Somehow I knew that when that moment came, it wouldn't be soft and sweet or even hard and fast, it would somehow be inexplicably us. It would be our moment and now, here in the fantasy, that it had arrived, there was no stopping it.

My fingers took on a life of their own, relentlessly pushing me onward as my heart raced and his name flowed past my lips, not smooth and steady but caught up on each whimpering gasp. I could no more stop that than stop my desires to run my fingers over his body, memorizing it with my touch. We had said that we will be whatever we will be but the promise was there and it was on that promise I fell over that mystical edge. It wasn't sweet or delicate like they portray in the story books. It was hard and fast and left me gasping for air as my body shuddered. It was delicious, sweet relief and it rocked my entire body.

After..after the room stopped spinning and I was able to form coherent thought again, I pulled the covers closer around me and snuggled down against the pillows, already looking forward to the following morning when I would see him again. After years of being careful, maybe it was time for this girl to add a bit of adventure to her life.

Happy Valentine's to all of the lovers out there, no matter what form that takes. Life is nothing without love and no matter the form that comes in, it is something to be cherished and nurtured. Let love define you, not anyone or anything else. Let love guide your paths through life. Be good to one another. Be good to yourself. You are your most important lover. You are the caretaker of a beautiful soul. Never forget to love yourself. The rest will fall into line when it's time...and to one of my favorite valentines (for all the world is my valentine since everyone needs love), thank you for already loving me and for bringing me smiles and laughter. I look forward to our adventure, no matter which path it might take.

Story Time: Letter to a Lost Love

Sometimes, when I'm driving, I pass this tree. I call it the shoe tree because over the years, people have tied their shoes together and tossed them up into it. They say that people do that to signify the end of one thing and the beginning of another. For me, it was the beginning of us. It is the precise place that I was the first time that you texted me. I remember it like it was yesterday. I glanced down at my phone, surprised to see your name there. You had never texted or called me, even though we had exchanged numbers. I wanted to text you back, to answer the very serious question that you had asked me but there just wasn't any way to do it while driving. I suggested that you call, but you never did. Yet somehow, it was still the start of us.

I will never forget sitting in a hotel lobby, your texts keeping me company as we joked about how quickly we had climbed from zero to over a thousand and counting. You said we would do something to celebrate it as soon as we were together. It was such a silly thing to celebrate but silly was so much a part of us, that it just seemed right.

We never did celebrate that achievement. Instead, us meeting took us to entirely different levels. It was amazing and somehow, it just felt right. I've never experienced anything like it before. The truth is, I've never experienced anything like us before. I've never had that sense of intimacy and belonging with anyone. I've never had that feeling of total acceptance, love and joy. We had that together and it was the most glorious thing I have ever experienced.

I will never forget that feeling. Even though I know that I will never experience it again, I will never forget it. I will hold it in my heart, even when it threatens to tear me apart. Experiences like that change a person's life and you changed mine. Sometimes, when I think back on what we had together, it's like my heart is being torn apart. No, not torn apart. It's like the memory has exploded into shards of metal that are forcing their way from the inside out. Yet still, I will never let go of how we were together and how you made me feel.

With you, I always felt beautiful. You showed me joy. You showed me what it was like to totally relax and "just be" with someone. We were silly and we were serious.  We would talk for entire days and it feel like mere minutes had passed. I was your smile and you were my strength. Together, we were an incredible team. People said we lit up the room when we were together. We made others smile with our love and infectious laughter.

Then suddenly, everything changed. The phone calls stopped. The affection stopped. You suddenly shut me out of your life. Suddenly, I went from being your best friend, lover and confidant to being nobody. I've spent weeks, nearly months now trying to figure out what I did wrong. I've spent so many hours crying that perhaps it's gone into days now.

Sometimes late at night, I dream of you. When I close my eyes, I pray that I won't but always, there you are. You're just as you were when we first met. My hand still fits perfectly in yours and your voice still whispers the words that helped me to fall in love with you. My knowing mind rebels, trying to force me from my sleep but you hold me there. I'm bound by what we once were, forced to live out the dreams of what we could have been.

I wonder if you ever dream of me or if I'm not even worthy of the memory of what we were.  Sometimes I wish that I could forget. I sit and wonder what my life would be like now if we had never met; if you had never sent that text. Would I be a stronger person? Of course, there's no way of knowing.  Deep down, I know that I would never wipe away those memories if given the option. You showed me what it was like to live again. You showed me that real love can exist. 

I should go though. I know that while you've promised in the past to always read what I write, this letter is best meant for the trash can. For you to read it would be me opening myself up to even more pain. I don't know why you don't love me anymore, but reliving it with this letter won't help. The truth is, I don't think that I will ever fully heal from this. Someday, I will hear that you've found someone new and that you're in love. When that day comes, I know that my heart, no matter how healed will shatter into a million pieces. Until then, it will have a hole where your love used to live.

My love...the love that I have lost, I have but one wish for you. It is not for pain or even that someday you look back and see what so many others saw when they saw us. It is just for love. I hope that someday you love yourself enough to see how amazing you really can be. I hope that you find someone who loves you as much as I did and as much as I always will. You have great capacity for love and I hope that someday you use it for good and not as something to dangle in front of others and then snatch back when you realize you're becoming emotionally invested.

For now though, I leave you to live your life. There is no longer an us. We are again two lonely, heart hurting individuals who must now journey through life apart.  For me, though, I realize that I no longer wish to carry on alone. So, this is my goodbye. This is my final letter, my final song. Tonight, when the stars are out, I will do what I once told you that I longed to do. I will join the stars. I know I said someday my heart will shatter, but I realize now that it already has and I cannot put it back together.

You asked me not so long ago if I thought we could be close again. The truth is no. For that to happen, you would have to want it. Your actions scream that you don't. You've moved on and forgotten me and forgotten us. I am a nobody to you and so tonight, I will join the stars in their nightly vigil. I will fly high into the sky and watch over you until someone else comes along who can take care of you and love you. When that day comes, I will fall from the sky and be gone forever.

So, goodbye my love. Goodbye, the one person who I gave my everything to. You will never understand just how special that was. You were the one and only person in my entire life that I opened all the way up for and who I gave all of myself to. Tonight, I take back what I can. I take back my life the only way I know how.

Goodbye my lover, my best friend, my everything...and remember..tonight, when you glance up at the stars, remember that there is a new one there and maybe think of me.

Yours in life and in spirit.

K

Story Time: Alone

It'd been yet another in a string of long days and as she stepped into the house, her only thought was, "Now what? Another night alone? I'm not sure I can do this."

Stepping into her bedroom, she slowly stripped down until she was wearing nothing more than her bra and panties. She'd bought them with someone in mind and glancing down, it was his face, his body that sprang to the front of her brain. For a moment, her eyes were sad, remembering how they'd gone from an amazing time together to barely speaking in such a short time. Not a day had gone by without her thinking about how it had felt to have her hand tucked into his or to have his hands touching her. They had been so good together and now that they had been separated, those memories were all she had.

She curled up on the bed, closing her eyes. She had done this so often lately. She had curled up on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she remembered their time together and how almost immediately after, he had pulled back. Today, however, was different. Today, she only wanted to remember the feel of his hands and the sound of his voice. Before they'd ever come together in person, they had spent weeks winding each other up and listening to the sounds that they both made together. It was in this dreamland that she found herself caught as she laid on the bed, the wind from outside her window caressing across her near naked body.

Her hands wandered of their own accord as she thought back over the times they had shared together on the phone. In her mind, she could see him there, lying on the couch like he had so many times. She could see his hand wandering over his own body. A soft whimper escaped her lips as her memories merged and she remembered the feeling of his lips on her breasts, teasing and sucking her nipples. She could feel his hair beneath her fingers as she buried her hands in its depths.

A single tear rolled down her cheek as her own hand slid down between her legs, separating the smooth lips below. In her head, she heard his moans as he slid inside of her. Her back arched and her legs parted as she slid her soft fingers over her sex. In her mind, it was him. It was his body pressed up against hers and his manhood sliding deep inside of her. She could hear his voice as her body moved beneath her hands. In what seemed like mere moments, she was lost in the fantasy. Her bedroom, her bed, none of it existed. In her mind, she only saw him and the places that they had been together. In his arms, she had found heaven and it was that feeling that she desperately drove herself towards again.

Her fingers dipped down, rubbing and pressing against her clit as her soft moans filled the air. She could feel him, the weight of his body pressed against hers as he teased her. He had slid deep inside and sat there, waiting, staring down into her desire glazed eyes. It felt as real now as when it had happened then. Her hips rose of their own accord, wanting more than just the teasing of her fingers. Her body craved his and still lost in the dream, her fingers slid further down until her body was impaled upon them.

This is what he had done to her. He had impaled her body with his own, joining them together. In that moment, time had stilled and something had shifted inside of her. A bond had been forged and a piece of her would always belong to him. It was that piece that now called out for him, his name whispered frantically like the beat of a tribal drum. It was that piece that kept her buried in the fantasy as her body trembled and shuddered beneath her own hands. It was that piece that flung her over the edge of the dark abyss, leaving her body lying broken and shattered as her heart beat frantically within the confines of her chest. It was that piece, temporarily sated that pulled her down into sleep where the rest of her could start to heal.